Really a Virgin?

I think.... I think I'm too old for my cell phone plan.

We recently moved from AT&T to Virgin Mobile because we don't use our phones that much. We found one of Virgin's plans suited our needs best. We purchased the service and ordered the phones through the mail and subsequently learned we're old.

Scenes from the "Open Me Activation Guide" (Where I drool. Wait... rule):




And then here's the sensitive social activist grandpa, who's probably straining the age limit at about 26 (he has a beard, you know):

I asked Husband if he thought the ragin' teens who looked at this stuff felt hip, or cool, or awesome, or whatever it is ragin' teens feel these days. Husband said they probably don't even notice. It may simply be static to them. I'd like to know.

Anyway, these frozen-in-time photos depict more screaming movement and action that I can even hope to achieve by being real and 3-dimensional. I feel like a great human sloth. Why are my joints so stiff? Where's my sweater? I hope my phone doesn't sneak out in the middle of the night to hang with its cool friends.

I didn't realize that being a mom of a teen cell phone would be so emotionally draining.