I'm doing this right now. It's an incredible program, and I may well finally learn how to use meditation in my daily living. I've been trying to learn this stuff for awhile, but it's hard to do it alone. I wanted a teacher.
I'm not facing chronic illness, but I am facing chronic anxiety. The anxiety is part of my chattering mind, the good old "monkey mind" that is depicted on the left side of this blog. I have it here because I acknowledge it is part of me. It will always be a part of me, but I know there is a wise and logical part of me too. Monkey mind makes more noise, therefore it receives more attention. Meditation and yoga will perhaps help me get to know my wise self.
Monkey mind gets scared. It gets mad, it holds grudges, it seeks revenge. It thinks about dying and the various ways to die, and it thinks about how those ways could happen to me and my loved ones. It yaks and quacks and talks and yells.
I was doing a "body scan" meditation yesterday, as was part of the homework. My instructor's voice on the CD quiety talked me through paying close attention to the pads of my toes up to my forehead, a little at a time, for about 40 minutes. I don't think I feel asleep, but I was amazed to find old monkey mind creating hallucinations and stories it really wanted me to complete. During those periods, my instructor's recorded voice faded out and my hallucinations took over. I don't think I fell entirely asleep because I was able to become aware of these hallucinations and then push them aside (hard work) to let his voice back in.
As I do this, my job is not to judge, but simply to notice. I don't get angry or feel like a failure when his voice fades out, but I do make note and then get back to my meditation. It was so interesting to me to note how my brain was playing "the boss." It really wanted me to pay attention to it, to listen and watch these little stories, these little hallucinations. It wanted to play. Very, very powerful. It was strong-arming me!
This is a fascinating process. I'll let you know how it plays out.
www.meditationproject.org
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- Lisa M. Lynch
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4 comments:
Good for you, Lisa! I teach MBSR and similar programs. I'll offer your reflections to my own students and clients! And I'm sure you will find this work very rewarding.
If you're interested, I have a lot of resources for mindfulness practice on my website:
http://crimlawdoc.typepad.com
Best wishes,
Delany Dean, PhD
Mindless gardening works for me but everyone has their own solution. The fact that you are doing something to relieve the stress is the proverbial step in the right direction. Hang in there!
I think part of it (speaking from experience) is learning that a lot of this thinking just happens, kind of like breathing or digesting, and would happen whatever goes on around us. Naturally, we look for reasons why we feel that way. sometimes there is, of course, but a good share of the time there really isn't. Part of the trick is learning the difference. Good luck with this. It will be interesting to hear how well it works.
All your comments are valuable. Thank you for your enthusiastic response, Dr. Dean. I will certainly come visit your site, and I plan to document my (oh, I really hope) success with MBSR. I'm flattered you are planning to share my observations with your students!
Weeder, yes... gardening is a big meditation thing with me. There's nothing like dirt and sweat to make you feel like you're right here, right now. That's so important. In fact, I think I'll go out and weed something today. Thanks for your encouragement.
Interesting observation, Dad. The mind does work just like breathing, and I think it has as much power over the body as breathing. The mind grabs the soul and takes it for the bumpy ride when it does this kind of thing. I'd like to be the boss of that mind while understanding that it will always do what it does. I can't fire it because it's part of me! I'm so glad to hear you're interested in my attempts at MBSR. I'll keep you updated! Love you...
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